Ole Softy

This is a poem in response to a story taken from "Talking French Fry Saves Woman's Life." By Chad Kultgen, Weekly World News

I mourned my kneaded husband
from a dough-machine mishap.
He was waiting on the crescent rolls
when death took him from his nap.

My life, no longer bearable, so
I wandered through the streets.
I spied the crowded restaurant where
my love and I did meet.

I left that fast food haven
with my last meal, so I thought.
I checked in at the Budget Inn
to end my life, why not?

I climbed onto the window ledge
looking over my small town.
I took another step or two
to cast my poor self down.

"Don't Jump! You still have life to live."
I thought, who could this be?
Then I looked inside the hotel room.
My eyes, did they deceive?!

A little fry was standing there
upon his crusty end.
He was begging me to come inside,
my life, please not to end.

I know this must sound crazy, but
Ole Softy saved my life!
I bought him at McDonald's with
a burger "super-sized!"