Repeated abuse has long lasting pernicious and traumatic effects such
as panic attacks, hypervigilance, sleep disturbances, flashbacks
(intrusive memories), suicidal ideation, and psychosomatic symptoms.
The victims experience shame, depression, anxiety, embarrassment,
guilt, humiliation, abandonment, and an enhanced sense of
vulnerability.
In "Stalking - An Overview of the Problem" (Can J Psychiatry
1998;43:473–476), authors Karen M Abrams and Gail Erlick Robinson write:
"Initially, there is often much denial by the victim. Over time,
however, the stress begins to erode the victim’s life and psychological
brutalization results. Sometimes the victim develops an almost fatal
resolve that, inevitably, one day she will be murdered. Victims, unable
to live a normal life, describe feeling stripped of self-worth and
dignity. Personal control and resources, psychosocial development,
social support, premorbid personality traits, and the severity of the
stress may all influence how the victim experiences and responds to it
... Victims stalked by ex-lovers may experience additional guilt and
lowered self-esteem for perceived poor judgement in their relationship
choices. Many victims become isolated and deprived of support when
employers or friends withdraw after also being subjected to harassment
or are cut off by the victim in order to protect them. Other tangible
consequences include financial losses from quitting jobs, moving, and
buying expensive security equipment in an attempt to gain privacy.
Changing homes and jobs results in both material losses and loss of
self-respect."
Surprisingly, verbal, psychological, and emotional abuse have the same
effects as the physical variety (Psychology Today, September/October
2000 issue, p.24). Abuse of all kinds also interferes with the victim's
ability to work. Abrams and Robinson wrote this (in "Occupational
Effects of Stalking", Can J Psychiatry 2002;47:468–472):
"... (B)eing stalked by a former partner may affect a victim’s ability
to work in 3 ways. First, the stalking behaviours often interfere
directly with the ability to get to work (for example, flattening tires
or other methods of preventing leaving the home). Second, the workplace
may become an unsafe location if the offender decides to appear. Third,
the mental health effects of such trauma may result in forgetfulness,
fatigue, lowered concentration, and disorganization. These factors may
lead to the loss of employment, with accompanying loss of income,
security, and status."
Still, it is hard to generalize. Victims are not a uniform lot. In some
cultures, abuse is commonplace and accepted as a legitimate mode of
communication, a sign of love and caring, and a boost to the abuser's
self-image. In such circumstances, the victim is likely to adopt the
norms of society and avoid serious trauma.
Deliberate, cold-blooded, and premeditated torture has worse and
longer-lasting effects than abuse meted out by the abuser in rage and
loss of self-control. The existence of a loving and accepting social
support network is another mitigating factor. Finally, the ability to
express negative emotions safely and to cope with them constructively
is crucial to healing.
Typically, by the time the abuse reaches critical and all-pervasive
proportions, the abuser had already, spider-like, isolated his victim
from family, friends, and colleagues. She is catapulted into a nether
land, cult-like setting where reality itself dissolves into a
continuing nightmare.
When she emerges on the other end of this wormhole, the abused woman
(or, more rarely, man) feels helpless, self-doubting, worthless,
stupid, and a guilty failure for having botched her relationship and
"abandoned" her "family". In an effort to regain perspective and avoid
embarrassment, the victim denies the abuse or minimizes it.
No wonder that survivors of abuse tend to be clinically depressed,
neglect their health and personal appearance, and succumb to boredom,
rage, and impatience. Many end up abusing prescription drugs or
drinking or otherwise behaving recklessly.
Some victims even develop Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
